Monday, April 27, 2009

The song in the background of my blog plays through my mind, filling my head with memories as to why I created the blog in the first place. The memories that inspired each blog post, and the events that transpired after these very blogposts. The links that most of you wouldn't really know about, yet appear crystal clear to me, each post carrying an encryption of a chapter into my life, an unbreakable code, its answers hidden deep in my heart.

An abstract body of words, filled with emotion as I inscribe them onto the text box on the screen, the typing facilitating it as I mentally dictate, the speed at which I type ensuring that no idea or thought escapes and even so, the output is tame, with the soothing, background theme of my blog playing, constantly reminding me of the reason why I started this blog in the first place.

Once more into the breach, my friend.

Contemplation, fueled by the need to understand one's self, to fully comprehend the thoughts behind each emotion, the emotion behind each fragment of thought, and the physical output of these thoughts, how they manifest into mannerisms, actions, attitudes towards people. How they are expressed to those around me, how I seem to them as I do so.

Must I put myself through so much scrutiny? Am I not as imperfectly human as everyone else?

Contradictions, as thoughts crash into each other, agreeing yet disagreeing, your mind engulfed in the chaos of its wake, confused and yet, protected by a countermeasure that had been created together by your very mind and body, a by-product of many such internal conflicts within one's mind.

Do I embrace this apathy? This jaded feeling? Perhaps.

Or is it just a ruse? Something I hide behind to not show my vulnerabilities? Or so I think. To some, that very barrier I wrap around myself is nothing but a lie. A bubble of insincerity that I have wrapped around myself, selfishly, perhaps.

Contemplation.

Really though, who gives a shit. I'm just going to live life as it is. Imma let whatever fate has in store for me and fucking go for it.

And if anything...

I gotta be myself throughout.

Shaft, out.

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Pretty damned good. One of the best quizzes ever. Far from the teensy, angst-filled, obvious quizzes in quizilla.

http://www.quizbox.com/personality/test82.aspx

Your view on yourself:
You are down-to-earth and people like you because you are so straightforward. You are an efficient problem solver because you will listen to both sides of an argument before making a decision that usually appeals to both parties.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:
You are a true romantic. When you are in love, you will do anything and everything to keep your love true.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:
You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person.

The seriousness of your love:
You are very serious about relationships and aren't interested in wasting time with people you don't really like. If you meet the right person, you will fall deeply and beautifully in love.

Your views on education
Education is less important than the real world out there, away from the classroom. Deep inside you want to start working, earning money and living on your own.

The right job for you:
You have plenty of dream jobs but have little chance of doing any of them if you don't focus on something in particular. You need to choose something and go for it to be happy and achieve success.

How do you view success:
You are confident that you will be successful in your chosen career and nothing will stop you from trying.

What are you most afraid of:
You are afraid of having no one to rely on in times of trouble. You don't ever want to be unable to take care of yourself. Independence is important to you.

Who is your true self:
You like privacy very much because you enjoy spending time with your own thoughts. You like to disappear when you cannot find solutions to your own problems, but you would feel better if you learned to share your thoughts with a person you trust.

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Felt like doing a quiz.

No lying on the quiz.



Starting Time: 0106 hours

Name: Shafyuddin AKA Shaft
Sisters: 3
Brothers: 0
Eye Color: Brown/Black
Shoe size: 13
Hair: Black / Very slight tinge of brown under sunlight
Piercings: 0
Height: 175

What are you wearing right now?
Pants

Where do you live?
Singapore, Bedok

Favorite Number: 4
Favorite Drink: Iced Water
Favorite Month: June
Favorite Breakfast: Anything that warms the tummy.


***********Have You Ever***********

Broken a bone: No
Been in a police car: No
Been on a plane: Yes
Been in a hot tub: Yes
Swam in the ocean: Yes

Fallen asleep in school: Ho ho, alot.
Broken someone’s heart: ... Perhaps.
Cried when someone died?: Nope.
Fell off your chair: Yep.
Sat by the phone all night waiing for someone to call: I guess so.
Saved e-mails: Yes
Been cheated on: Hmm... Yeah.

***********What is************

Your room like? : Corner by the living room. <_<
What is right beside you? Blanket, Pillow.
What is the last thing you ate? : Rice + Meat + gravy

———————-Ever Had- ————————-

Chicken pox: No.
Sore throat: Yep.
Stitches: Nope.
Broken nose: Nope.

————————-Do You————————–

Believe in love at first sight?: Mmhm.
Like picnics: Always.

———————————————————

Who was the last person you danced with?: One of my ITE Classmates...
Who last made you smile?: Can't remember.

————————–Who—————————

Did you last yell at?: Mark Aaron Lee.
Do you wear contact lenses or glasses?: Neither.

———-Final Questions————-

What are you listening to right now?: Blade Chord - Abingdon Boys School
What did you do today? Bathed, ate, drank, took the bus, train, talked to friends, got myself into my project groups, talked, socialized, got my ass home.
Hate someone in your family?: Not really.
Diamond or pearl? Pearl.
Are you the oldest? Nope.
Indoors or outdoors: Both are fine.

——————Today did you———————-

1. Talk to someone you like?: Kinda.
2. Kiss anyone? Nope.
3. Get sick? Sore Throat + Cough
4. Sing? Yep.
5. Talk to an ex? What ex? <_<
6. Miss someone?: Mmm...
7. Eat?: Yarr.

—————-Last person who——————

8. You talked to on the phone?: Nafika

9. Made you cry?: Huh.

10. Went to the movies with? Hua Wei?

11. You went to the mall with? Tako.

——————Have you——————-

19. Been to Mexico? No
20. Been to USA? No

——————-Random——————–

21. Have a crush on someone?: -sigh-
22. What books are you reading right now? Textbooks. <_<
23. Best feeling in the world? Satiation.
24. Future kids names? Hurr hurr.
25. Do you sleep with a stuffed animal? -points to self-
26. What’s under your bed? Air.
27. Favorite sport(s) to watch?: Hmmm.
28. Favorite place: Home.
29. Who do you really hate?: Arrogance.
30. Do you have a job?: Nope.
31. What time is it now? 0117 Hours.