The void in the heart, the space left behind by someone dear. That space that sucks the light out of you, allowing the dark negativity to take over. What a way to start a little entry. But thats on my mind right now. The negativity engulfs you and you start ranting it out on everyone else for not being able to fill up that void. For this moment, you just feel selfish, you just want nothing else but a little cure to ease this pain. Maybe just someone to fill this void. Anyone willing, even. Desperation sets in. But you know no one will want to. At least you're confident about the fact no one will.

You try to laugh it off, gaining a little bit of the light back. Gradually, you gain it all back, the void being forgotten and put away for now. But it never fails to haunt you on certain moments. Always.

The feeling that you have failed your own expectations. The fact that things COULD have been different, but they aren't. It was best for the other person, but you got nothing but hard, cold loneliness. Self-pity wallows in yourself. But you know its useless. It does nothing but to make you feel worse. Taking a deep breath, you move on, pasting a smile to your face as you face your friends who know nothing about it.

And thats life for me.

O levels tomorrow. 3 weeks of slaving my ass off.

I'm done.

Ah, the O levels are finally here. Stress levels are finally sky high (partially due to fasting) and procrastination is no longer an option. Fucking finally, I'm cornered. Can't procrastinate anymore. Gotta do what I need to do. Well, might not be that bad anyway. I just plan to do my best, study my best, get over with it and well, live a life. I don't really see this as an obstacle...

I'd rather save that for National Service approximately 4 years or so down the road. Oh yes, thats just sweet. Either way, this is important if I want to get into that Psychology course in Temasek Polytechnic. Having my desired course AND having it near my house is definitely a damned good bonus for me. I just hope the no cut-off points for it helps me out more than anyone else. Otherwise, I'll definitely do my best.

Of course, the same old problems still plague me, the little emotional "demons" of my past never fail to take up the correct opportunity to shove their hot little red tridents up my fat behind. God knows how they fit in anyway.

Sure as hell don't want to know.

This is one of the very rare personal posts I do, though I doubt anyone reads this often nowadays since I don't update it at all. Nothing new I guess.

Will say more if needed. Ciao.