How much can one actually hate him/herself? How much can such hate go? And even affect your own personal life? I guess it can. IT kills your confidence, your self-esteem and that, causes a chain of events that no one likes. Especially when it happens to them. Oh, it happens all the time for me, which is why I manage to shrug it off most of the time. Of course, I wouldn't say I'm totally immune to it. Its the opposite really; It happened so many times, I know what to feel, what to expect. Its just nothing new. You could say I'm half-numb to it already. Not really a good thing, but I'd wager it isn't that much of a bad thing after all.

With self-hate, comes doubting yourself, blaming yourself. Its the most justified manner of blaming. You can't give excuses to yourself; you know what they are and well, you deserve it. It is the worst kind of self-punishment someone can give him/herself. Cutting wrists? Nah, thats not emo. Thats being fucking retarded. Hope all wrist-cutters get tetanus and die of blood poisoning. Physical punishment sucks anyway.

Self-hate eh. Ponder.